PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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