they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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