nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
