yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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