Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
