dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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