Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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