i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
