i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
