So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
