Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
