I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just cropdusted the office
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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