haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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