i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
handjob tips. give me some.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
