96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
