too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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