What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
