who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish i was in the wii world.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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