porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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