made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
