I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
