I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
