this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
