at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
