if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
