pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've blown a few things in my day
honey bunches of taint.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
