There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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