You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
