we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
