She announced her abortion via fbk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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