Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
