she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
