Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
