Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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