dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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