I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
