She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My pussy is not your playground.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
