is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
