Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
