are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
