porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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