you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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