u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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