so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
