Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
