Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
