let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
