I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
