yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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