watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
