Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
