dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
