Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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