i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
try to milk me bitch
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