Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
