biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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